May 1, 2011

Psalm 23: Parodies

I’ve come across quite a few parodies of Psalm 23 in my surfing.  Here are three:

The culture is my shepherd.
I am always wanting more.
I stumble from mall to mall,
job to job,
and shrink to shrink,
seeking relief but never finding any.
I am trapped in the valley of the shadow of death
and feel sorry for myself.
I fear everything from processed food to power lines.
I go down to the weekly staff meeting
and am surrounded by people who seem out to get me.
I go home, and even the dog scowls at me.
I anoint my headache with extra-strength Tylenol.
My beer mug runneth over.
Surely misery and misfortune
will always be my lot,
and I will live in self-doubt and pain
for the rest of my lonely life.

—by Jim Abrahamson, on his blog Apt to Teach.

God is my servant,
and He promises to give me more stuff than I can imagine.
He has given me the right to have the best of everything
and if I claim His promises I will have smooth sailing in life.
I may face outward symptoms of trouble
but my faith reminds me that it is just a trick of the Devil.
Because God is with me, in me, and for me,
I have authority over Satan.
He has given me the power to change my circumstances.
My enemies scatter before me.
He has given me the anointing to be a child of the King
and as such the riches of this world belong to me.
There is no doubt about it.
It all belongs to me.

—by Jim Abrahamson, on his blog Apt to Teach.

The TV is my shepherd I shall not want.
It makes me to lie down on the sofa.
It leads me away from the faith,
it destroys my soul.
It leads me to the path of sex and violence for the advertiser’s sake.
Even though I walk in the shadow of Christian responsibilities,
there will be no interruption, for the TV is with me.
Its cable and remote control, they comfort me.
It prepares a commercial for me in the midst of my worldliness
and anoints my head with secular humanism and consumerism.
My covetousness runs over.
Surely ignorance and laziness shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of wretchedness watching TV forever.

—posted on the blog of
Fr Tommy Lane.

For additional paraphrases of Psalm 23,
click on Psalm 23 in the list of “Labels”
at the lower right side of the page.

For more worship resources for Good Shepherd Sunday,
(the fourth Sunday of Easter),
click on Easter 4 at the right side of the page.