Easter 2: Thomas's Confession


What has grief done to you?
What has it made you want to do?
Cling to what remains of the familiar?
Or get away from everyone and everything?

Me, the doubter?
Me, the disbelieving?
I’ll tell you what I couldn’t believe.
I couldn’t believe he was gone….
and gone.
I couldn’t believe it was possible
to take down a man like him.
I didn’t believe
that someone with such life
could die,
just like the next person.

If they could destroy him,
what chance did we have?

Damn right I doubted everything…
doubted I could go on
doubted we could survive
without tearing each other apart
doubted I had anything left to give
but my rage and despair.

And the guilt, oh the guilt,
I couldn’t stand the way none of us would say it,
“Why didn’t we save him?”
"Why didn’t we do more?"
"How could we have abandoned him like that?"

Stupid cowardly fools.
I couldn’t believe I was so gutless.
The women showed us up alright.
So Judas took the easy way out,
well I don’t blame him.
I was tempted too,
better that than wait for the same fate they dished out to Jesus.

But I wanted to goad them too,
wanted to scream down the city streets,
“I’m one of his! I don’t deny it!
And he is Lord! You murderers, he is Lord!”

That’s what I don’t doubt.
That’s what I can’t disbelieve.
He is Lord.
My Lord
and my God.

— from The Church of Scotland's Starters for Sunday.

For more dramatic monologues,
see Creative Worship Ideas for the Sunday after Easter.
For more creative worship resources for the first Sunday after Easter,
click on “Easter 2” on the list of “Links” at the right.